I would like to share three poems I wrote about Bipolar Disorder. The first one was written while I was feeling psychiatrically normal but very sad. The second was written at the beginning of a manic episode. The third was written during a very depressed evening, on the tail end of a mixed state day.
Defiance
So, Bipolar Traitor, you tried to steal my life.
I thought that you were me.
I thought we understood each other.
I thought that I was you.
Guess what, you Double Crosser?
You cannot have my life.
I will still grow up,
I will still have fun,
And my world will be beautiful.
Take that,
And that,
And that.
Clutching
I cannot understand you.
Words hit my head and scramble.
And everything's too much--too much!
And I cannot slow down.
My thoughts are swirling,
Gray tornado,
Twisting-
Spinning-
Spiraling.
They make me sick; I cannot watch.
But I'm not crazy.
I'm still me.
My World
Everything is dark.
The world is naught but one big night.
Everything is dead.
Dead things start to smell, you know.
And then the stench envelops you:
You cannot think, you cannot move.
What does it matter?
You and I--we're both dead too.
Lie back down and let it come.
Death could be our friend.
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Hi, I'm so glad you popped in to say hello on my blog. you gave me quite the silly thrill when I saw your red dot on my map for Israel. I love this blog of yours, and you give such a good description of bi-polar that I feel like I understand some of it now. I know I can't because I'm not in your head but you give a good description.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to your other blogs. Hey, I just thought of something. If hugging your CPdolls gives such comfort (and I don't think that's odd at all! Good therapy) you might consider a weighted blanket--you could get a lap size blanket, the size my DD has (a child's size, about the size of a baby blanket). When you have it on your shoulders or in your lap, it feels like a big hug and the pressure feels good. Just a thought. My daughter and one son (JT) have varying degrees of sensory integration disorder and that helps both of them.
Actually, I have one! It's just not as high up on my list of things I need. Thanks! Oh, and I'm really trying to make this my only blog from here on out.
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