Tuesday, December 29, 2009

"I see trees of green, red roses too; I see them bloom for me and you, and I think to myself what a wonderful world."

(The title quote is obviously from "What a Wonderful World" [if that's actually the title of the song]; I don't know the artist).

Lucky, lucky, lucky me! I am the luckiest girl in the world!

I picked up my new glasses today. I got the prescription in August...after I'd needed it for a few months already...it's now December...I can see, I can see, I can SEE! Everything is sharper, clearer...my world, my world is brighter! OK, so I don't see red roses because it's Winter, but I do see trees of green, and the world is wonderful.

Also...I had recently been feeling sorry for myself because my feet still hurt a bit sometimes and probably always will. Yesterday, however, I reread my pain blog for an essay I have to write for a scholarship application for this summer. I went through the whole thing, start to finish, and realized how much I had forgotten. I have kept the memories of people helping me, because those are good memories; but I guess I just erased things like rewearing dirty clothes for a week because I couldn't do laundry, collapsing six times in one day (I remembered collapsing, mostly in connection to people helping me, but I did not recall doing it that often), and coming back to my room in the afternoons and flopping onto my bed...or the floor...screaming and crying because I couldn't keep the pain in anymore.

I am so, so blessed to have my mobility! Even when I hurt "a lot" (compared to current baseline but so little compared to what I was in before), I can still stand, walk, run...it hurts a lot sometimes and occasionally I make that obvious, but I can do it.

And I may not have many friends because of all those months when I couldn't leave my room, but I can leave my room now, and I'm trying to make up for lost time...and I do have a couple of friendships so good I didn't even know friendship could be like that.

Not to mention two wonderful brothers, a mother to whom I can confide anything, a good roof over my head, TWO warm beds (one in NY, one in NC), good food and safe drinking water, mental stability (Yes, still! My meds are still working!)...can any girl in the world be luckier than I?


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